Chuck Norris jokes – The best ones.


After Chuck Norris visited The Virgin Islands, the are just known as The Islands.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn’t push himself up, He’s pushing the world down

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

How many push ups can Chuck Norris do? – All of them!

When Chuck Norris talks. Everybody listen, and dies!

Chuck Norris loves a bath. Bloodbath.

When Chuck Norris needs lumber, he trims his beard up a bit.

Babe Ruth had a baseball autographed by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris don’t need a weapon. He is one.

Jesus can walk on water. But Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

The only way to impress Chuck Norris, is to be Chuck Norris.

If sleep is the cousin of death, Chuck Norris is the Father of both.

Chuck Norris Created the Grand Canyon in a concrete block breaking competition.

Of course there were no weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq….. Chuck Norris was at his ranch the whole time!

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A few of our original Chuck Norris jokes from our team

A nuclear explosion happens when Chuck Norris farts too close a open flame.

Chuck Norris DNA was once evidence in a mass murder trial but the cotton top was sold to the museum of national treasures.

Chuck Norris had a near death experience once…

- He was cremated and spread in the ocean.

For more original Chuck Norris jokes – Click here!


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…The world won’t end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.